at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
