My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
