you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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