If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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