it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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