he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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