Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
