im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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