Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
