please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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