apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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