i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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