When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
