Taylor Swift is so right about you.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
