we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
