I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
