My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
