Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Randomize
