When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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