using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
