I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
