Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
