A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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