I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The air taste purple.
Randomize
