haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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