you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
