I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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