Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think your dad took our porno
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
