I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
