Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
