Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
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