You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
