shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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