You made me cry and you don't even care
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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