This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
