i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i now understand why vodka
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
