the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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