Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You don't make any sense
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