Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
