Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
That's when you crack a 10am beer
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
