was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
