Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
