Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
we have pet lesbian snakes
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
