brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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