I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
