they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Someone came in the potted fern
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
