so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
