yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
