Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
