You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize